Musings from the journey from hell

Have just endured a rubbish hour on a South West Trains journey from Waterloo home and as I was standing and couldn't nod off so I had to think.   Always a dangerous thing to do.

Why does a fatality at Surbiton so badly affect trains which go nowhere near Surbiton?

Why, on a busy train, is it always the men sitting and the women standing?  I don't expect men to give up their seats for me, but nor do I expect to be sent spinning as men rush past me for the free seats.  

Do people understand the concept of the Olympics? A couple were speaking about the opening ceremony (which I've still to see) and complained that each Olympic host city was trying to outdo the previous city?  Apparently the Olympics isn't about competition.

In the event of everything going so wrong on the trains (ie train leaving an hour late with 100 people standing per carriage) does the guard really have to keep to his idiotic script?  "On behalf of South West Trains I would like to wish you a pleasant journey".  Oh piss off.

Rant over - I feel much better now.  But if anyone has the answers to the above questions please let me know.

Why Not Tell People Not To Be Criminals?

I've become increasingly wound up in the past few days by the amount of crime-prevention warnings around. On a bus stop poster near my office are about three or four threats of your house being burgled if you don't lock up, hide your presents, throw empty boxes away immediately, buy Christmas presents. We're told not to talk on our mobile phones in the street, listen to MP3 players or drink more than a small sherry for fear of being mugged. Catholic churches are even moving midnight mass for fear of them being upset by drunks.

I'm all for protecting yourself and your property and it's right that people should be reminded of their responsibilities. But why don't these posters say things like "If you break into someone's house you'll be jailed you little shit" or "A short skirt doesn't mean you can be all rapey" or "Get a job and buy your own MP3 player"?

A huge amount of money is spent on these crime prevention advertising campaigns.

Here's another way to use the money - more police and longer prison sentences.

Fat? Stop Eating So Much Then

***rant alert***rant alert***rant alert***rant alert***rant alert***rant alert***

It seems to be a week for the Nanny State annoying me. First it was drinking, now there is the report that says that Obesity isn't the fault of the individual and that the Government has to do "something".

Bollocks. Bollocks. Bollocks.

I'm overweight, I'm technically obese. Despite most things in this country being the fault of the Labour Government this isn't one of them. I know why I'm overweight - it's because I eat too much rubbish and don't exercise enough. I made a decision earlier this year to lose weight. I lost over 2 stone through sensible eating and exercise. I stopped the sensible eating and exercise and have put on a little bit of weight again.

I'm overweight because Krispy Kremes are tastier than vegetables as a snack. I don't hate myself, I don't have a childhood trauma that I'm hiding away from, I don't use food as a substitute for love. I like the taste of chocolate - it's a pleasant thing in life.

Stop bloody telling me that the decisions I make in life should be taken out of my hands and put into the hands of the goverment. I don't want some supercilious leftie telling me what I can do with my life.

I'm going to have a newly re-released Wispa for lunch just to rebel.

Why I Don't Like Chris Martin

I used to think my loathing of Chris Martin was a little irrational - now I know I was right all along. A quote from a BBC News story:

"Singer Chris Martin has described a track written for Coldplay's next album as "basically genius", saying it could be their best composition yet.

The 30-year-old added that everybody "has to hear this song before we die, otherwise we'll be terribly depressed"."

Prat! Self-opinionated smug ponce. I look forward to contributing to your terrible depression you self-righteous git. Go on, bugger off, learn how to smile and not create such an overwhelming level of hatred in my soul.